Jackolytes
by Hawki
Summary: Oneshot: The Hive were terrifying in even the most benign circumstances. But even they paled in comparison to the horrors of Halloween...


**Jackolytes**

"No gunshot wounds, no signs of energy effects…it's as if it just, well, died."

"It's an acolyte. It's already dead."

"Well, biologically the Hive are-"

"Shut up Twinkie."

Alcyone wasn't in a good mood. Anyone who knew her knew that calling her Ghost "Twinkie" was the first sign of that, when his real name was "Twinkle," thank you very much. So while the situation wasn't as aggravating as to have reached the point to calling him "Dinklebot" (which he really objected to for some reason), it was fast approaching. Because not only was his voice yammering on inside her head, but he was just stating the obvious – the Hive were dead. She hadn't killed them. And while dead Hive was rarely a bad thing, she would have preferred to know the cause. A cause that the Ghost wasn't helping her in determining.

"Space zombies," Twinkle sighed, his voice crackling across the airless void of the moon, entering her helmet's transceiver. "Do you know that term dates back to the Golden Age? Apparently there were these things called zombies in fiction back then, and-"

Alcyone turned off her radio and kept walking.

No Hive, no loot, no nothing. Not even the Stranger popping up to make comments about not having time to explain anything, or how some things were so evil that they hated other evil (whatever the hell that meant). The Titan shook her head – apparently Exo screws could indeed come lose.

_And am I losing it? _She wondered, still trudging across the lunar surface, still letting Twinkle follow her, still coming across Hive body after Hive body, none of which gave any indication as to what had killed them. _I'm on the moon. I'm a walking space zombie myself. I've got a glowing light bulb yammering on about Traveller knows what, I'm not using my Sparrow because of…reasons, and…_

She let her train of thought stop. That seemed like enough facts to have herself declared insane. And to prove how insane she was, she turned on the radio again.

"…and if I didn't know better, I'd say these Hive died of fear."

Alcyone stopped walking.

"But of course that's quite absurd," the Ghost continued. "The Hive may be biological entities, but there is no evidence that they possess emotions in the same way that humans do, or our allies for that matter. And by all indication, the Cabal are-"

"Twinkie," Alcyone whispered, "shut up."

It was a moot point. Sound didn't carry on the moon, and the…_things_…had likely already seen her. But she didn't want to have a Ghost yammering on in her ear as the creatures stumbled towards her. Creatures that looked like Guardians. Guardians with pumpkins on their heads. Pumpkins that shone with an eerie light and were grinning in the same way a serial killer might grin at their victim. Guardians that were stumbling towards her.

"Jackolytes," Twinkle whispered.

"What?"

"The Jackolytes," the Ghost intoned. "Former allies of the Hive, dedicated to the worship of Hallows' Eve. Split from the aliens due to theological pursuits as to whether candy would be appropriate in the temples of the Hive."

"You've lost me."

"Jackolytes!" the Ghost exclaimed. "The deceased acolytes, the Hive all around us – they've come, don't you see? They've come! We're doomed!"

The Guardians, or "Jackolytes" kept stumbling towards her. All of them holding a plastic bag in one hand. It would have been cute if not for the various firearms they each held in their other hand.

"Alright," Alcyone said, priming her rifle. "I know how this goes. I kill, I get loot, and if I'm lucky there might be centuries-old candy waiting for me. Anything else?"

The Ghost remained silent.

"Hey, Twinkie," she said. "You're supposed to come in with the snappy one-liner."

"I am?"

"Yes. You ask, 'trick or treat?' I get out a shotgun, claim it's a treat, but also mention that I have bubble-gum for the party bags."

"I don't follow."

"Because I'm outta gum."

"…you've lost me."

Alcyone sighed, shut off the radio, and began shooting. Bits of pumpkin started floating through the low gravity airless void. The Jackolytes fell. The loot awaited.

And it turned out that candy could still taste quite good despite the passage of centuries.

* * *

><p><em>AN_

_So, with the Jackolyte items, _Destiny _seems to be well and truly within MMO territory. Not exactly on the level of the Headless Horseman, but meh, beggars can't be choosers._

_Update (09/11/14): Corrected some wording. The original 777 word count was a coincidence I noticed, but a coincidence all the same._


End file.
